Harry Potter rocks my face off

Whoa! I just finished reading Harry Potter and it was amazing. I know it is like my fifth time reading it, but each time I read it I just get hooked into it. It really is amazing.
I can't wait for the 6th book to come out. I am gonna camp outside Barnes and Noble to be first in line. The Mrs probably won't like that so I'll have to sneak out alcatraz style.

Phil "Birdman" Eaton

Who's Your Daddy?

As President of SPU I am kind of a father figure to most kids at SPU. But you only see me on special ocassions and hoolidays so it is more like I am an imprisoned dad. Coming up to my office, aka "the fortress of solitude" is like visiting a jail. I screen you for weapons and conviscate any mallomars you might have on your person. Also, Steele is like an abusive prison guard always forcing me to work and never letting me play my PS2. Total screw, I say.

This year for father's day you can bring me krispy kreme doughnuts. A couple dozen will do. They work like currency in the circles I run in. For example, Reinsma's on my case to get some stupid english dictionary in the library. Totally boring, I know, so I bought him off with a couple of krispy kremes. Who's your daddy, Reinsma? Answer: Luke, I am your father!

Phil "SPU Pimp Daddy" Eaton

The Big End-of-the-Year Push

The end of the year push begins... but what does that mean?

The push to get financial matters in order before the end of the fiscal year?
The push to boost enrollment for fall quarter?
The push to pass that end-of-the-year meatloaf you had at the cafeteria?

either way, let me Phil Dog help you relax under the stress with my infamous poetics!

Phil's poem of the day:

Saucey and sexy its onions stinging my eyes
this burger from burger king will be my demise
everyday it calls to me to come
and my stomach, satisfied says yum yum
this burger reminds me of the innocence of youth
when little fairies replaced each tooth
it has the power of new life
and the power to unite man and wife
vested in it by the state
it is two burgers of pure love
made from cows, to spare the dove
burger from burger, so much better than working for SPU
double bacon western cheeseburger from Burger King, I love you!

From the heart,
Phil

Jackson is Freed!

The U.S. justice system works!
The Jury's verdict was a mandate to Jackson saying "It's as easy as A-B-C: I want you back, black or white. You're such a Thriller, now get outta here. Beat it!"
Let KSPU blast from the hill tops a marathon of JackO's number one songs.

We Love You Jacko!
Phil "Thriller" Eaton

Missing: iPod. Last seen with: Grumpy Les

Les Steele told me if I loved taco bell so much that maybe that's all I'd get. Which would be kickin', but then he pointed out I would not get my end-of-the-year crab cakes. Bummer. So he locked me in my room to write a speech for graduation and stole my iPod. What a dorkface!

Music is inspiration from God.

I still got my phonograph (steele thought it was a smoothie machine) and my favorite LP of Dancing Queen by ABBA.

"Graduates, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, ask her out, go and make babies.

Buy a house cause the market's low
Get cool jobs cause of who you know
Making lots money, doing the right thing,
Lunching at burger king
Have a burger with a side of fries
Wash it down with a couple mai tais
So go to each sunday, be sure that you tithe
And always press your pants
Don't leave nothing to chance

You are a graduate, young and sweet, only twenty-three,
graduate, feel the heat, no more tax relief,
graduate, you can jive, having the time of your life,
see that girl, ask her out, ensure its a real big ring"

Love God, Love Others,
Peace Out
Phil

P.S. But seriously, return my iPod because it has the extended version on it and I don't want to have to pay another $.99 to buy it off itunes again.

Proposed Speech

Les Steele said I could NOT "wing" the graduation speech and that I had to prepare something. Bogus. I flipped him the bird. Then I went down to Marston and gave Reinsma the bird as a preemptive counter attack to the witty scoffs he's sure to make during whatever I come up with. So during the next few days I am gonna write on it and let you guys choose the topic:


"Graduates, as I look on you today it reminds me of the double decker soft taco I had at taco bell, mainly because they are so delicious and good and I am sure you are. In a lot of ways life is like a double decker soft taco from Taco Bell. The first layer is like college. Soft taco tortilla, soft refried beans, melted cheese, all things that are creamy, they offer no resistance to the palate, but they taste dang good, kinda like SPU. Next is real life. A much harder shell and some meat and some lettuce maybe a tomato chunk or two if you're lucky and more melted cheese. That's the real world. Not as good as the soft taco but still tasty. I don't think life can get much better than a soft taco. Who wants lettuce anyways? And tomatos are gross. Stay here at SPU. Have soft tacos everyday. Mmmmm. I'm gonna get some right now. Steeley-boy take over."


Then les would say something totally stupid about acheivement and rigorous study and effort and knowledge and growth, but honestly what is all that when compared to a soft taco from taco bell?

Answer: Not much.

Peace-out
Phil

P.S. Any complaints? You know where to find me.

Is SPU better than a soft taco from Taco Bell?

The soft taco is certainly cheaper. Also, the soft taco is usually warm compared to the people at SPU. Believe it or not, the soft taco has more nutrional value as well. Will the soft taco help you get a job? Probably not. But I heard having a job was a real bummer. Just look at Les Steele--he has a job and he's way uptight all the time. Bogus. Taco wins! 

Missing Student

Has anyone seen this kid recently? I keep seeing him on the SPU webpage but haven't seen him around campus in a long time. Is he okay? Somebody should check on him, because I think he owes us 3 credits of humanities courses before we can actually graduate him or something. 

We Are Living in America

What makes american great, Steeley-boy? Freedom!
Freedom to nap through our session to plan commencement. That's freedom, baby. Hail to the Cheif, Steele!
My plan: wing it. I don't know what I am gonna say. Maybe I'll tell the graduates to come back to SPU for graduate school or maybe I'll invite them all out for some taco-bell. What says "Congratulations. Job well done." better than a yummy santa fe chalupa, except maybe the chalupa baja. Mmmmmm... chalupas.

Peace Out Homies and good luck with the studying, see ya round the ben and jerrys freezer
Phil

Mood: Confident
Music: "Army" by Ben Folds

P.S. Les if you're reading this, and still want to meet to plan commencement speeches, meet me at the Taco Bell in Ballard.

FFMC: Serving the Community of Queen Anne

Serving them up a side of fries and teaching them to revere the Big Mac upstairs.  

Baby Dedication Service at FFMC

May he grow up to always keep close to his heart the secret recipe for the special sauce. 

Commencement is June 11th

This year's graduation procession will be a little different. A little less pomp and circumstance a little more naked bike riding to protest oil dependence and body painting to express individuality. 

The last weekend

Ah Fridays and you know what that means: you're last chance to get CFE credit before you party hard all weekend and drunk on mallomars and the holy spirit. Also, the last chance to find a significant other at college so you don't return to your hometown looking like a big loser.

Other last chances you have this last week of school:

Last chance to get sick off of Gwinn food.
Last chance to walk around in an edenesque garden of a landscaped campus. breathe it in because you won't be smelling those plants and herbs til next fall.
Last chance to makeout in the Hill Hall movie lounge.
Last chance to use sparknotes to feign a book report.
Last chance to use up points at the C-store.
Last chance for a free game of pool in Moyer. Albeit a crappy pool table and you have to fight off moyer nerds trying to makeout in their movie lounge.
Last chance to rent movies for free from the library.
Last chance to flip the bird to your most hated, despised VP of academic affairs.
Last chance to engage the culture and change the world before beginning a summer of VH1 "I Love the 90s" marathons.

I know what I am going to do this weekend: eat cheetos and crank up the weezer! Could a president of a small private university in the northwest ask for anything more? (Maybe some mallomars?)

Phil Dawg
Mood: Giddy
Music: "Holiday" by Weezer

Chunky Monkey is MY favorite flavor

I just want one of those fruity ice drinks from the C-store. But I gotta wait in line because everyone is down there trying to use up their points before the end of the year. I should be able to cut in front of everyone, but just as I am about to do that, Les steele walks by and I have to hide behind the Ben and Jerry's deep freezer. I am supposed to be locked in my office working on speeches for like a hundred different commencement services. gosh. It's gonna be long hot and boring again. Nobody supported my idea of having the seagals at the graduation service. Honestly, who would you rather get a diploma from me or one of the seahawks cheerleaders. The seahawks sucked it up this year, but the seagals are still a fine ambassador to our academic institution. Besides if I dont have to hand out diplomas nobody will try to fill my pockets with silver dollars, condoms, or bouncey balls. Those meddling kids, if I had any power I would make them stay another year.

...and I thought I knew Deep Throat

Mark Felt announced that he was deep throat today. That is wicked awesome because that gets the feds off my back about it... for a while.

Peace out-
Phildawg