McCrath

McGruf was famous for taking a bite out of crime.
And at SPU Soccer Coach Cliff McCrath was responsible for taking a bite out of SPU's obscurity among academic instutions. This has to stop!

Taking SPU to the finals 30 times, and winning the national soccer championship five times was just about the only thing SPU was ever famous for and we had to put that to a stop before he became the winningest coach in history. I mean, we barely avoided fame with the whole Eugene Peterson thing. It is a good thing he defected to Canada before links could be made from Peterson to SPU's viability as an academic and spiritual institution. I mean, if people start coming to SPU because it is respected for its accomplishments and competency in its endeavors, what will become of our new science building and our diversity efforts?

What would you rather have? A successful sports team that gains respect from regional and national and international figures? Or the multi-cultural dinner? I know, but what if I told you that the multi-cultural dinner is free food? Vote with your stomachs.

Salary Debates

A special report came out this week in the Falcon about private univerisity president's salaries. I'm telling you because lord knows no one reads it. And I call it special because there was the tinsiest bit of reporting involved in that the news team read something other than the chapel calendar of events.

Anyway, I'm not that thrilled because they missed the point of the report. Les read it to me while I was in gwinn waiting for the help to restock the fruit loops. Apparently they published my salary in some report and students are asking why I get paid so much. The real tragedy is why I get paid so LITTLE! Do you know how much you pay for your education here? Like 30,000! So basically I get money from like ten kids. That's it! Where does the other money go? The library? I bet Reinsma and his other qwacks in the english dept. want a new copy of beowulf or some other stupid story that has been around since like WWII.
I should get more money. And the list proves that. I mean, Clyde Cook of BIOLA makes more money than me! That is a real outrage! Look, you are either with me or against me but the bottom line is that we all know we are all better than Biola. As Seth Meyers would say, "Really?!?"

I understand that as a university we have priorities. For example, landscaping. How can we be a city on the hill if we don't have prized rhodys? We can give like, 5 kids, five kids for the rhodys, two or maybe three for the gate, and then what? I should get like at least one classroom full of students' tuition money. And make it a uscholars class, that's the smart money.

Then, after that, use the rest of the money for your filthy word-pages.

A very special thanksgiving

If there is one day a year that is OK to wake up before noon, it is thanksgiving. Because you are guaranteed a nap after lunch. That's the only way it is worth. Because let's face it, friends, to keep me looking this good, I need 15 hours of sleep per night.

This year I watched the macys parade while wearing my favorite jammys and les steele served me hot chocolate in my moose-head mug with extra marshmallows, because diabetes risk or not, it is the holidays, steely-boy and I am no scrooge.



This year the parade had a new balloon. The Al Roker balloon! Congrats, Al. But isn't it ironic that he had to lose all the weight in order to immortalized in balloon fashion.

"God bless us everyone." - Al roker


Peace Out Homies, don't chzoke on the nzeck bone!
PHIL DAWG