Happy Wrestling Day to Canadian Students!

For all you undergrad students who are still learning how to engage the culture, let me tell you the history of Canada's Christmas Sequel, known as Wrestling Day.

There is a great dispute on the origins of Wrestling Day:

1. In fuedal times, peasants would give christmas gifts to their fuedal lords. If the lord was displeased with your gift you would have to wrestle to the death against another poor gift giver. If you won the wrestling match and lived to see another Christmas, then you'd better find a better gift for next year. Usually gifts of Pork, Jewelry, and Furniture were failsafe gifts and gifts of songs, books. and jest were sure to land you in the wrestling ring. The essential truth of this tradition is still true today as I would much prefer Bacon or a nap to the dixie chicks album and the filthy wordpages I got this year. SPU doesn't have a wrestling team anymore, but the gymnastics team seems to spend a lot of time their backs so we'll make you join the team.

2. Some theorists claim that the celebration and practice described above is not the true origins of the holiday celebrated today. That the origins of the holiday started when Canadians were really into boxing one year and everyone spontaneously gave each other betamax copies of "Wrestling's Ultimate Smack-Downs." The Prime Minister declared the day not only a National Holiday but also a Holy Day as he rushed to give Sainthood to Vince McMahon. Some of our Canadian Exchange students have encouraged the Chapel staff to honor this holiday traditions of theirs, but that is just ridiculous... I mean who has a betamax machine?

3. Marxists Historians ascribe to the theory that wrestling day is the day after christmas because the western protestant bolshevist capitalist machine grinds to a stop on christmas eve and remains at rest for one day. During that day the proletariat dared to stop and tend to their wounds incurred during their hard under appreciated manual labor. The day after Christmas, the capitalist pigs would return to their capitalist profit machine and need to oil it... oil it with the blood of the workers and hence needed to wrestle them and beat them into the ground before the start of the work day so that the capitalist machine could start up again. We see this celebrated today in the way that post christmas sales lure the workers into the stores and all those fools climb all over each other to get the 50% off deal on a plastic rock-n-roll santa that plays the guitar and sings "jingle bell rock" six times before turning off.

Of course for lame-os like Les Steele the holiday means wrestling free from the lame bio-flex home gym work out machine he wanted for christmas. I however celebrated by opening a box of mallomars and taking a nap, a gift I always remember to give to myself.

Now you know....

Peace on Earth
Good Will Towards Phil

Thoughts on Tookie

As posted by phil eaton:

Some people have asked me to share my thoughts on Tookie Williams execution.
I am not surprised that a governor who came to fame as "The Terminator" followed through with the termination of Tookie's life.

Was he guilty? Did he redeem himself?
This is a tough case. Tookie was convicted for killing four people 26 years ago. Since then he has worked towards peace and reducing gang violence. However, one was a convenience store clerk. Convenience stores sell mallomars. How can you redeem yourself? Bad Tookie, Bad!

Divorce Kevin, Right NOW!

Folks,

Just because I am on sabatical does not mean it is all malomars and Dicks Double Deluxe Cheeseburgers.
No we in the Phil Eaton camp are still working hard to change the world. And today we took a bold step by signing the petition to get Britney to Divorce Kevin.

My hope is that you will follow my great leadership in demanding the break up of this hideous hollywood couple. Please sign the petition at www.divorcekevin.com

The other half of my plan has always been for SPU to engage the culture. And right after the divorce would be the perfect time for one of SPU's finest "Centurions" to step up and prophetically lead Hollywood into an era of good, wholesome, Christian marriages.

Peace, Love, Phil

EMO Day!

emo day - with a whole lot of narcissism.

i'm not in the mood to say too much today. i just feel awful, emotionally.
feel like i'm such a useless person, i'm serious. vacations are a bummer, man. but i finally got some time to do what I love. I took some photos of myself. narcissistic, maybe. but then why not.
i didn't post the photos because i don't want you to see them and get up all in my face
if my photos are too awful for your eyes, i'm sorry. you can shut up

it's perfectly fine that you don't believe in appreciating me. but i love myself and i shall do what i want and be happy.
bear in mind, this is my blog and i shall post whenever i fancy posting. =)

the missus says i'm a pretty preisdent.
les told me i'm a little prince

if you don't agree, you are mediocre and unworthy of my attention.