Driscoll Drag

This Driscoll/Mars Hill thing is a real drag, man. The Falcon is involved, of course, so the professors are telling them to do their job and getting all in a huff. Geez. Everyone relax. Have a mallomar break. Things will work out. First, professors, no one reads the Falcon. So who cares what they write about? Second, Falcon "staff" if you want readership, then you gotta do something edgey, something catchy, something that will lock in the readership of the youth. You know what you should do? Publish my blog! A "Best of Phileaton.com" would definitely solve your problems. Because my blog, unlike your paper, appeals to the masses, people all around the country are reading my blog these days. Other University presidents have started to follow my trend. Lame-O BIOLA people have copied my trend, trying to ride my coattails as always, and have created a Christian Bloggers Network.
What Would Jesus Blog?
This is all too much. Driscoll, Falcon Newspapers, Theology profs, all the more reason for me to take off for a couple months, watch some cheech and chong movies and get my head together.

Peace Love Phil
P.S. While I am gone, you'll still be able to reach me on facebook and through email.

President's Christmas Concert Sold Out

Fans, The Christmas Concert is already sold out! I am that awesome! Whoa! Now do you believe in my awesome-itude, Lessy-boy? Eat your heart out Gerard Schawrz, I am the best thing that ever happened to benaroya!
Peace Love Phil

Enemy #64

Jill Bush.
How did she move up in the ranking so quickly?
-Bashing my Rootbeer Keggar
-Openly downtalking speedracer
-Not loving cheetos

Why You Should Hate Her:
-Stealing the name of our beloved President of the Nation
-Studying German
-Liberal
-Public school eduacted

Redeeming Values (why she is not ranked higher):
-knows that Saved by the Bell was God's greatest gift to humanity
-zach cartwright vouched for her (and I once saw Zach steal a lick of les steele's ice cream cone while Les was looking the other way, too busy talking to someone he thought was important! Way to go Zach!)

 

Pirate Threat Diminished!

The bad news is that pirates are real and still a major threat to our safety and security. Read recent news releases here
Luckily, Good Ol' Phil Eaton was planning ahead and Luckily I convinced the board to build an ArchWay in front of Tiffany Loop to keep these Pirate men (as well as Free Methodists) at bay. I am proud to say that all SPU students will be kept safe this year.

God Bless SPU!
PEACE LOVE PHIL

Even Famous, Celebrity Pirates are kept at bay thanks to the new Arch that guards the entrance to SPU's Tiffany Loop. 

From W. to W.

President Bush gave me a shout out in a recent stump speech: "I also want to thank Phil Eaton and all the good folks here at the University"
I don't know what I did, probably something Les cooked up, but you got to admit that is pretty dang cool.
Read the whole article here.

peace love phil
Phil Eaton

Can Christians REALLY Change the World?

Last night was pretty rad. Pretty much it was the awesomest night of the year. If everyday could be just like halloween night, what a wonderful world it would be.
However, my head is still spinning and I can barely function this morning. To make things worse, Les wants me to speak in chapel. I figure, if no one shows up I can go back to bed. Awesome. So here are the cliff notes:

Can Christians Really Changes the World?
Yes.Hitler was a Christian. So were a lot of his Nazi buddies. Ted Bundy was a Christian. The Wright Brothers were Christians. Ronald McDonald is a Christian. Pac-Man: Christian.
And don't forget me! I am a Christian and I am also blowing through changes in the world with my revolutionary blog--bringing news, gossip, and opinion to the masses in a way no other university president ever has done before!

Christians CAN change the World!!!!!!!!!