Betrayed By Bacon Burgers

I love Bacon Burgers and Vanilla shakes and ooh ooh onion rings.
I gotta take a break and clean the drool of my chin.
Okay I'm back. I love red mill burgers. You know, over in interbay. There burgers are sooooo good. They cook them just right. With the flame broiled patty, the carmelized onions, and crispy pepper bacon. oooh. excuse me.

Okay, I'm back. I did a scientific test this summer (see June 14th) and sure enough Red Mill came out on top. The burgers are expensive though, but then again that keeps you college kids away. I mean who wants to work a week for dale just for a burger. Who wants to work a week at all? Not me. But I got duped into functioning as the president. The Mrs. was all like "hey honeybunches, what do you say to some red mill burgers tonight?" I said, "I say Hell yes!"
Little did I know this invite was tainted. The burgers were mighty good, oh yes, they were delicious.
But then all these SPU kids started walking by and I was like "quick, let's get away! There's les steele's car, do you know how to hot wire it?" Mrs. Eaton of course does know how to hot wire cars but she was all like "honey lets see what they're up to." Personally, between me and you, my blogger followers, I don't care what the SPU kids do as long as they don't
1. throw beer bottles at my house from the ashton lounge.
2. throw up in the ashton elevator.
3. throw up on my lawn on their way home from the ashton lounge.
4. throw up on my lawn while returning to the ashton lounge.
5. marry some one from moyer, if they lived in moyer.

Turns out all these kids were going to an SPU soccer game. I don't know why. Soccer, in general, is hugely boring in a massive way. But SPU soccer really sucks. Oh there were the glory days of national championships, of McCrath crawling on his hands and knees (more profs should emulate McCrath's loyalty to SPU and to me). But last year the team set a new record: least goals scored in a season.
"But we had a strong defense." Please. Excuses make me vomit even more than the kids coming from ashton.

Argh. I hate soccer. And yet, I was duped again by the lure of Red Mill. Why have you betrayed me Red Mill? Why? Why? Why?

Survivor Rocks!

And I ain't talking about the 80s rock band, which pales in comparison to Survivor.
I am all decked out survivor style: sand, creepy host guy, and me and the mrs are down to our skivvies. We're throwing some people off the island. Much like one would do in Vokosdoxy.

Hurricane Phil?

So I was gearing up for some raging cartoon time but my fingers hit 47 instead of 42 and apparently 47 is a news channel. Also apparent was that there a lot of hurricanes going around. And they all have names like "Ivan" or "Jeane." I think it is time for a Hurricane Phil. I'm gonna have to make some cut backs in order to save up the money.

Here is a list of things we are ridding the campus of in order to save money.
You can vote to keep one thing on the list.

1. The dye we use to turn "chicken" into "beef" or "pork" in Gwinn. Subsequently, all meat dishes will now be "chicken."
2. Keys for roommates. All roommates will be forced to share one key. By eliminating just one key from every dormroom (and two from triples), we can save tens of thousands.
3. Emerson Hall intramural helicopter races around the world.
4. Centurions.
5. SPU's financial backing of Mr. T's next big boxing match.

I'm sure that by cutting these programs, we are making the right decision. What better way to bring the Word to the world than at high speed?

Oh, man, was that embarassing....

Okay, so, last night I was going to this concert at the church, but it's like at the church, right, so you don't expect to like need a ticket. but I guess those cheeseball tickettakers, had to take something, the Mrs. had hers and left me out in the lobby. I was looking to score a ticket, but no dice, and then just when I was starting to walk back up the hill, I see Bonnie Brann.

I'm like "Bonnie, Baby, My main lady, the brann muffin, hook a brotha' up"
And she's all like, "what you talkin' 'bout philly?"
I'm like, "I need a ticket. Baby, you gots what I need."
and she be like "huh uh, I don't think so. you gotta lend me some sugar."

Dude she totally made me sing "I'm a little tea pot" right there in the lobby. Zit faced ticket takers were crackin up.

oh man, so embarassing.

And then when I finally got in there. I sat down next to this guy with a pointy umbrella and it popped my can of easy cheese. without the easy cheese the concert was bor-ring.

Right now, I'm gonna sneak out and raid the C-Store for some easy cheese.

A New Slogan for a New Year

Vote now! People keep telling me that the old Eaton gem "engaging the culture, changing the world" is getting a little "old hat" they say kindly. So now I am saying bah humbug to you, Steeley-boy, I'm putting it to a vote. No engaging the culture? No wheaton of the west then either.

Fellow bloggers, you get to vote on the new slogan for SPU.
Here are my top ten ideas.

1. SPU... Seattle's only republicans west of Bellevue.
2. SPU... Gets tough stains out that others left behind.
3. SPU... To infinity and beyond.
4. SPU... Where the deer and the antelope play.
5. SPU... A little SPU will do ya'.
6. SPU... a diamond is forever.
7. SPU... the other white christian college.
8. SPU... Triple your pleasure, triple your fun. (The 3:1 ratio is currently the school's strongest selling point.)
9. SPU... Nobody does it like Philly E.
10. SPU... Promise them anything, give them CFE.

Post a message on the blog to vote. (You can vote anonymously.)

Oktoberfest: Fremont's or Phil's?

Will I go to Oktoberfest this weekend in Fremont? No.

Why? I have my own private oktoberfest every weekend. Few people know about the third basement of the Hilford House. I can't say much here, but let me just say that it makes Ashton look like a frickin Convent.

GRRREAT!

You know what the great thing is about being president of your own university? Free food.

I totally crashed, like, 8 labor day weekend barbeques. It was rad. The best food I had were some barbeque chicken teriyaki things on skewers. I don't know what they were called, what was in them, or where I was at the time, but they were to-tal-y the bomb. If any of you all were there and had some, you know what I'm talking 'bout. (And if you can, get me the recipe.)

The worst thing I had were some funky vegetable thing grilled on the barbeque. The guy said it was like a potato chip, but potato chips don't make me gag. No thanks. I'll stick to the tim's cascade stuff. i.e. the good stuff.

I also drank. A lot. Work tomorrow is not going to be fun.

Metroid Rocks!

After church, Pastor and Mrs Abbott came over for dinner. The Mrs. fixed her famous fried chicken and stuffing and afterwards Mark and I were excused to go play.

We played Metroid and Old School Zelda for like 5 hours. I totally rocked Mark's world in Metroid. And Metroid is the best game ever so, really, what else matters?

After we drank all the tab soda, Mark left. He's a total player.

I don't have to go to work tomorrow. Sweet.

Ninja Cat Breakfast Drink

I tried a new breakfast drink today. I got it at the "99 cent store" It made me feel like moving like a cat all day. I felt ninja powers when I drank it. I could run faster in the hallway and I could move quick like a ninja. It made me so powerful. Watch out!

My New Diet of Catholicism

The Eaton Regime will live on forever!!!!!!!!!!!!
Similarly, so will I.
My buddy Fidel Castro, recently boasted he could live to be 120 years old. Well, I can live that long too, sucka! Here is my plan:
Run 10miles everyday, do 100 pushups everyday, do 100 crunches everyday, and hit up the gym everyother day until I can bench 250 (the weight of five Ashton chicks, and twelve thousand Ashton brains) and then hit up the gym every day.
How am I able to do this? Is it with new found energy from my honeydew melon and cottage cheese ultra-femmy diet? No. I have the power do to this thanks to the rules and teachings of the Catholic Church. See, if you think about stealing, that's as bad as stealing. So if I think about excercising, that's as good as doing it, right?
See you out there! I mean, I'll be thinking of you.

Music: Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass
Mood: Hyper