halloween story

It's Close To Midnight And Something Evil's Lurking In The Dark. Under The Moonlight You See A Sight That Almost Stops Your Heart. You Try To Scream But Terror Takes The Sound Before You Make It. You Start To Freeze As Horror Looks You Right Between The Eyes; You're Paralyzed.
You Hear The Door Slam And Realize There's Nowhere Left To Run. You Feel The Cold Hand And Wonder If You'll Ever See The Sun. You Close Your Eyes And Hope That This Is Just Imagination, But All The While You Hear The Creature Creepin' Up
Behind. You're Out Of Time
Night Creatures Call And The Dead Start To Walk In Their Masquerade. There's No Escapin' The Jaws Of The Alien This Time. They're Open Wide. This Is The End Of Your Life.
They're Out To Get You, There's Demons Closing In On Every Side. They Will Possess You Unless You Change The Number On Your Dial. Now Is The Time For You And I To Cuddle Close Together All Thru The Night I'll Save You From The Terror On The Screen,
I'll Make You See.
That This Is Thriller, Thriller Night. 'Cause I Can Thrill You More Than Any Ghost Would Dare To Try. Girl, This Is Thriller, Thriller Night. So Let Me Hold You Tight And Share A Killer, Diller, Chiller. Thriller Here Tonight.

Men's Soccer

Is soccer even really a sport? I mean, I guess we are doing really good now and so Les is making me go because it is like the first time in 6 years that the men's soccer hasn't lost more games than it's played. But still, is it a sport? Does anyone care? I polish off a bowl of fruity pebbles every morning, but I don't keep tabs on my victories. Soccer is a dead sport, kinda like Spanish is a dead language. And can men even play soccer? Cause the only thing I really know about soccer from the news is that it involves stripping off your sports bra while running around on the lawn. Don't get me wrong, but that is not a sport, it more like a typical night on 6th Hill. Another reason why soccer is lame is because the nachos they serve at the stands suck. All hot sauce and no chesse.  What is up with that? So I tried to sneak in my own last year and I got caught and had to strip down and be searched. The dogs found my Mr Pibb 3-litre bottle and my 18ft licorice rope. However, my malomars were safe because I keep them close to my heart. And that night I vowed never to go to another soccer game without my treats. So Les is buying me red mill before the game and their pumpkin shakes are pretty good this year. But then again if Les wants me to go so bad it is probably gonna be another one of "his" boring things to go to. For example: the trustee meetings. That stuff is totally lame and not everyone wants to be a part of your little clique okay Les? Gosh. Nate Ellis so knew what he was talking about--about how this campus excludes people who purposely act to not be apart of this campus. Too True, Nate too true! Why is Nate Ellis the only one who "gets" me? And yet he still hasn't agreed to be my friend on FaceBook? Nor will Dr. Braden be my friend and that hurts. We used to be tight. Sure, I stood for everything you stood against and Les and I muscled you out of your administration position, but those were good times, right? Now they are moving the KSPU office and the C-store is falling apart because Dale isn’t there to keep it from imploding. With all these problems going on around campus… (and don’t forget the big one: no stealing food from gwinn. How rude! I want to eat when I want to eat. Setting aside certain times of the day to consume unlimited amounts of food is so BIOLA and that’s not what we are about) I am surprised to see that students aren’t aloud to drink…. On campus…. Even if they are not of age. If we want to be a city on a hill, then we should set ourselves apart by issuing minors special passes so that they can drink all over town. Sobriety has been done, folks! Hello!?!?!?!?!? Look at Utah! Is anyone impressed? Nope! And they even have special underwear that they wear while having sex. Being totally lame will not win people to Christ. (take notes, Les.) You know what will though? Movies like the “Passion of the Christ” or the equally acclaimed (by Christianity Today) major motion picture “Veggietales: The Movie” That movie rocked the house down to the ground! The pirates who don’t do anything? I dig their style.

Anyhoo… all of this is to say that Soccer is an evil on par with communism and SPU has no place participating in this sport. Goodnight!

TONIGHT: Seattle Area Christian College All-Out Rumble

Tonight, challengers from more than 55 christian colleges in the PNW will meet in FFMC to take on Yours Truly. This is an all-out rumble to decide who will be King of the Christian Colleges of the PNW and the winner gets to take on Clyde Cook at BIOLA in the semi-regionals. I'm all over that.
I mean, who is going to stop me? St Martins? Sorry, catholics! The only indulgences we have here are the weightloss candybars and they taste pretty evil too. PLU? Sorry, Lutherans. They are like the John McCain of Protestants. They claim to be protestants, but really they are catholics in disguise. Who else wants a piece? See? No one else can handle my cunning skill in the ring.

SWEET! I Totally Get a Dozen Doughnuts! And make them Winchell's only the top of the line for a University President! 

Elijah Wood: Still Gay!

Seriously, Elijah cannot help but be gay. How else do you explain this? Elijah, I bet you 2 dozen doughnuts that you can't go one day without being utterly gay. 

Look who gets to eat at the Big Kids' Table!

I received a lot of criticism for my skeptism regarding the issue of the factuality of Avril. This picture clearly shows that Avril is merely a very human-esque Muppet! 

Midday lectures suck!

Today's day-of-learning wanna-be non sense was uber boring.
And for the most part it ignored the more important news of the day.

For all you losers who thought LOTR was fiction...

There are things we know and there are things we don't know and there are things we know we don't know and then there are things we don't know we know and then there are things we know we know but are afraid to admit we know. Poor Frodo. 

Floor Hours Break

Did you see Prison Break tonight? It was SOOOOOOOOO rad! Oh mi gosh. phew.
I don't care what Steele and his fancy pants ratings and reviewers say about the show. It "rocks out with its cock out" (as the kids say these days to indicate hardcore coolness... like the Fonz, okay? Les, aka Potsy, settle!)
Anyway, I don't think they are going to make it out. That is the whole joke and it will be awesome! Everyone will watch it every week waiting for the prison break, wait for it wait for it wait for it. They won't do it, not even for sweeps.

And then I'll be laughing last cause I got to watch every episode with the 5th ashton women. Downloaded and burned on to DVD just so that we can watch it after floor hours.

technology is awesome.
Phil

325 Lives Changed Forever.... Aint no Party like a Phil Eaton PARTY!

I just confirmed the 325th person as a close personal friend of mine through the medium of facebook. BOO YAH!
All I gots to say is Phil Eaton is rocking this campus! How many friends does Dr Braden have Two? Three at the most? Probably all nerds anyway. How many does Les Steele have? None! Does he even have a facebook account? Probably too busy drinking carrot juice or something stupid like that. Ha ha, loser! You already got glasses, what good are carrots gonna do you now?
To the two people I rejected as friends, I want to apologize. I was having a rough day: I didn't get my mallomars yet. How can you start a morning with out chocolate cookies? If you ask me to be your friend again, I will so hook you up. You will be the first to know the next time I plan a raid on the Hickory Farms store at the northgate mall.

Peace out my homies! All 325 of you!

Phil

Zombie Costume earns Rating of 8

Oh, mi gosh. Is this kid scary or what? He totally went all out, like Les Steele in the wesleyan theology collection in our library. Double Mallomars for this guy. Students, keep sending in your halloween costume ideas. This guy gets an 8, losing points only because the costume is merely mud. But gaining lots of points because there is a lot of mud. Afterall, mallomars are merely chocolate bars, but when there are a lot of them they are even more awesome!  

More Bad Costumes

This is a step up. Nerf guns are rad. But mexicans are scary. Nice try, devilsuck! 

Bad Costumes:

This is the stupidest halloween costume EVER! If you come to my house dressed like this I will not only not give you a mallomar, I will kick you in the junk so hard you'll wish you'd have gone to Les Steele's halloween alternative: "harvest-time festival." Loser! 

Halloween Excitement!

I am so excited for Halloween! Of course, this year, as always, I will be passing out malomars. But only one to each trick-or-treater. I am going to dress up as a monkey. And your costumes better be good or else I am keeping your malomars for myself!
Here are some examples of good and bad halloween costumes so that you can start planning now!

Peace out!

MONKEY PHIL

Monkey Phil

This is my costume this year. Frickin RAD!  

Steele Special

I designed this one for Les, but he declined it. He said he doesn't believe in halloween. He said he was hosting a halloween alternative which he happily called "Harvest Time Festival." Loser.  

Falcon Madness

This is the Rick Jackson/Falcon Staff Special 

All kids Love Clowns, except clown-kids

How could you not want a big mac. It'd make him so happy. 

Take my mallomars when you pry them from my cold dead fingers.

This is just plain scary. You don't even have to say trick or treat I will just give you the mallomars. But seriously, don't even come near me dressed like this cause I might freak out, go crazy, lose my mind. And the only thing that could set me straight again would be malomars, but you took them all. Now what am I going to do? EEK! This is not happening, not happening. Just a blog, not real. Phew. Precious Malomars.  

Phil Jr.?