Jonesin' for a Jones Soda

I love me some Jones Soda. You know what else I love?
Venture Bros.
It is the best thing EVER! It is the reason Eli Whitney invented the TV.
It is TV I can relate too.
This is SO me when students complain about chapel credits.















Take THAT metaphorical mummy of student disrest!

P-dawg in the house!

Rommney is my hero

They were out of frosted flakes today at the cafeteria. This, is, a tragedy.
I don't even want to live on days like today.
But I had already woken up. Late. But this is where the old Eaton is clever. I sleep in late every day just in case. Because while Gwinn came up short on the breakfast, it was only 20 minutes til lunch. Cheeseburger City! I easily killed 20minutes by drinking 12 glasses of vanilla coke in a challenge set forth by 6th ashton males. little did they know that the old Phil Dog can really tie one on at the cafeteria. You have classes to go, fools! I've spent days in here. And Nights. I've never been awake early enough to see the crew team, but I've been up late enough to see them.
Them and their blending smoothies at the table. They call themselves innovators. I call them shortsighted. Why blend fruit when you've got soft serve. If only they could see the error of their ways and come home to the true greatness of Gwinn. Then, maybe they'll rename it. I've always said that it shouldn't be Gwinn Commons; It should be Gwinn Spectaculars. Cause there is nothing more spectacular than starting the day with five milkshakes, taking a nap by the fire, waking up to 12 glasses of vanilla coke, half dozen cheeseburgers, with fries, and 7 slices of that fabulous pepperoni pizza you can only get in Gwinn Spectacular!

Why do You Hate Faculty? This is why:

The faculty have a little newsletter they circle around to each other to make themselves feel better. I always grab some Ben and Jerrys from the CStore. But alas, the english dept. has to prove their puny existence and by that I mean that their existence is puny.





Read this gem from their latest publication and you might learn a few things:




Submit a Pet Photo to the Fac/Staff Bulletin.


Show off your pet by submitting a photo to the Fac/Staff Bulletin for the "Pet Photo of the Week." Faculty and staff are encouraged to send a photo of their pet, including the pet's name and a couple of sentences explaining the picture, to the Fac/Staff Bulletin editor.



Pet Photo of the Week


This is 9-year-old Garvis, looking at me like somehow the recent snow was my fault! We got him from PAWS five years ago. He's a big cat, but very friendly-a gentle giant I guess. He has two other cat friends at our house, Midnight and Bradley. He's also quite vocal and you can hold a 'conversation' with him."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

j/k! Eat it! Fooled you! I don't care what you think your cat thinks. You're never gonna be Jim Davis. Why do you even try?

Things to learn from this photo:

1. English dept. are wimps.

2. Humanities? more like I-love-cat-ities.

3. This is what your profs do during the 23 hrs each day they are not teaching some BS ancient literature. I'm serious. They don't do anything else. They don't even eat. One time I was in gwinn and I saw Jennifer Maier licking her cat photo and I was like "gross!" I was gonna give her a dollar for food, but you know what? she just would have spent it on more cat photos.

4. The real question is why weren't they rocking 5th Street like all the other important people? I was out there with my cafeteria tray in hand and under my butt. Look out speed bumps--the Eatonator is plowing on through!

5. Eng Dept. has no sense of awesome-itude. No cat is photo worthy. This is photo worthy:

Who can't resist the temptation of the Eaton Grand Prix:

Four animals can't. That's who! Five if you count the Eatonator. Some say he, meaning me, is ferocious when he eats, fierce in hunger and passionate in all things delicious. Look, nay, Marvel, MARVEL, I say, at the sandwich supreme. Every bit of delicious. I call it the Noah's Ark of Sandwiches. Chicken, Cow, Tuna, Chicken, Pig, and Cow again. YES there is repeats and YES I CAN taste a difference if it is not there.

All this talking, oops, "blogging" about delicious sub sandwiches has made me hungry!

Grrrrrrrrr......

Peace OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!