Salary Debates

A special report came out this week in the Falcon about private univerisity president's salaries. I'm telling you because lord knows no one reads it. And I call it special because there was the tinsiest bit of reporting involved in that the news team read something other than the chapel calendar of events.

Anyway, I'm not that thrilled because they missed the point of the report. Les read it to me while I was in gwinn waiting for the help to restock the fruit loops. Apparently they published my salary in some report and students are asking why I get paid so much. The real tragedy is why I get paid so LITTLE! Do you know how much you pay for your education here? Like 30,000! So basically I get money from like ten kids. That's it! Where does the other money go? The library? I bet Reinsma and his other qwacks in the english dept. want a new copy of beowulf or some other stupid story that has been around since like WWII.
I should get more money. And the list proves that. I mean, Clyde Cook of BIOLA makes more money than me! That is a real outrage! Look, you are either with me or against me but the bottom line is that we all know we are all better than Biola. As Seth Meyers would say, "Really?!?"

I understand that as a university we have priorities. For example, landscaping. How can we be a city on the hill if we don't have prized rhodys? We can give like, 5 kids, five kids for the rhodys, two or maybe three for the gate, and then what? I should get like at least one classroom full of students' tuition money. And make it a uscholars class, that's the smart money.

Then, after that, use the rest of the money for your filthy word-pages.