Who's Your Daddy?

As President of SPU I am kind of a father figure to most kids at SPU. But you only see me on special ocassions and hoolidays so it is more like I am an imprisoned dad. Coming up to my office, aka "the fortress of solitude" is like visiting a jail. I screen you for weapons and conviscate any mallomars you might have on your person. Also, Steele is like an abusive prison guard always forcing me to work and never letting me play my PS2. Total screw, I say.

This year for father's day you can bring me krispy kreme doughnuts. A couple dozen will do. They work like currency in the circles I run in. For example, Reinsma's on my case to get some stupid english dictionary in the library. Totally boring, I know, so I bought him off with a couple of krispy kremes. Who's your daddy, Reinsma? Answer: Luke, I am your father!

Phil "SPU Pimp Daddy" Eaton