Today's reason to celebrate: The Birth of Meatloaf!

On this day, September 27, in 1947, Marvin Lee Aday was born. Since then he has gone on to change his name to "meatloaf," sell 35million copies worldwide of his album "Bat out of Hell" and appear in several cult classic movies such as "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and "Fight Club." Let's all celebrate by listening to "Bat out of Hell" and taking in an additional viewing of "Fight Club" in order to celebrate another great Cultural legacy!  

Commerative Meatloaf to be served in cafeteria.

On this day, September 27th, in 1947, the original Meatloaf was baked. Since then it has gone on to be an integral part of every meatloaf, beefbrisket, sloppy jo, and beef fagoli soup, made in the university dining hall, (now known as Gwinn). So let's all dig in to this tasty, timeless dish and celebrate another great SPU legacy. 

First Day of Class 05

Welcome to the first day of college. It is important day that marks the passing of time and tells of what is to come.
In all the excitement of the first day, don't lose sight of the important things that need to get done.

-You only have five weeks til you absolutely need your textbooks to study for the midterm.
-Stake out your table at gwinn. Or be forced to sit on the awkward East side where people in line for corndogs make you feel guilty for already having food.
-Between classes, hangout in the NE corner of martin square. Trust me, just trust me.
-Don't get caught up in the novelty of the omelete bar, there'll be plenty of time for that later in the quarter.
-Ask out the superfly honeys today. If you make friends with them first, they'll want to not ruin that.
-Only nerds go to coffee with their professors.
-Get up on time today. Tomorrow you can sleep in cause there is a convocation.
-Cool kids can hang out in the library, only on the first floor and not until finals week. Only nerds go to the 2nd and 3rd levels. Who is going to see you there? And only supernerds even know about the basement.


Those are some good guidelines for the first day of school.
Well, I've done my work for today. I'm going to catch a slice and a frosty at Zeek's. See ya there.


Westside Philly

Calling in Sick

I tried to call in Sick today but Les wouldn't let me get away with that.
He told me this story about a boy who cried wolf. And I told him that that was totally not what this was about. And he said "how?" and I was like.... duh, I'm telling you I'm sick, I'm not talking about no wolves in the hills. C'mon, man, you gotTa listen. When Pdog speaks.

Phil

God's Mandate is clear:

They say that God reigned down His Justice against on New Orleans for their homosexual ways. I don't know a lot about homosexuality, so I stayed out of it. But satelite images from this new hurricane make it quite clear: God wants the Monkees on the big screen. Or at least to see reruns in syndication sometime soon. If He wanted a full theatrical release He probably would have used Davey Jones. But Mickey was good, too. Good enough for reruns. 

MixMaster PEaton wrote the book on E-comm

Most people don't know this, but the internet was my idea. Gore and I were in vietnam writing articles for the army newspaper. I covered the cafeteria beat, writing reviews of the latest variety of gruel.

I said to Al, "Hey Gore, you know what we should do: internet." We looked at eachother and we knew exactly what we had to do: ditch Vietnam and start the internet. We figured that Vietnam could resolve itself regardless of our involvement. Stateside, Gore and I split ways. I moved to AZ and lived in a commune for a summer, writing poetry and experiementing with certain herbages. My studies found that a hint of Rosemary makes any omelete a great omelete. Mmmmmmm......

Gore went and started the internet. I tried to start a rival internet, known as "Internet 2: for those without computers" We'd write out people's email and then mail it to them through the regular mail. But that didn't work. So I sold of the commune, cut off my pony tail and hit the road for Eastern Washington, because that is where I believed the malomar factory to be located. A rosemary omelete makes me crave the malomars. Alas, no city of malomars was found in Eastern Washington and I was greatly disappointed. Demoralized, disjuncted, dismayed, I was given an honorary English Degree because I looked so much like an English grad student already.

Anyway, My e-commerce savvy has not left me. And when it comes to e-community I wrote the book on Facebook.

Peace out, my homies
"Mix Master Peaton"

Review: The Emmys

The real prize of the night was that kiss Patricia Heaton gave to Ray Romano. Mmmmm. She is one letter away from being an Eaton.

Moonies Pies

I was hanging out in the northgate mall, because I love Panda Express. I mean, c'mon: everyday should be a panda day. At the mall I was approached by a man in all white garb who offered me a rose and of course I excepted because like I totally knew that I was being selected for the next round of "Who Wants to Be a University President?" A reality show which pits university presidents against each other in various games and contests. Surely my "lawn length" plan caught their eye and I was moving up in the rankings. (eat my dust, Clyde. Biola Sucks!)

Turns out, this guy wasn't from the game show, but rather he was a moonie.
I've been a moonie since I was 6 and sent away for the moonie badge, after collecting like 1,000 coupons off the back of Moon Pie boxes.
I have like 500 badges. 30 of them just from banana flavor which really takes commitment because no one likes banana flavored cream pies. yeck.

The nice man invited me to a moonie meeting, where they had moon pies. This day was freaking rad:

1.) Escaping Les Steele's asparagus burrito luncheon
2.) Panda Express
3.) Trash Talking BIOLA
4.) Free moon pies
5.) Moon Pie club... will this lead to an on-campus "Moon Pie Cadre" We can only hope. I call dibs on faculty advisor.

Now that I joined the Moonies, I get all the free moon pies and kool aid I want! AND they gave me a new name "Shau Ma Eaton" I guess that is like the moonie way of saying Phil. I kinda like it. I bet Les's moonie name would be "Nerd Linger Les"

I swiped some moon pies out in my suit, so I got those to eat then I will probably go to bed.

Booyakasha
Peace out Homeys
Phil "Shau Ma" Eaton

Presidential insight:

You know sells a university to touring students and their parents?
Is it the faculty to student ratio? maybe.
Diversity? some would say so.
Is it where the institution lands in the ubiquitous college rankings? not so much.
What sells a university is where you want to invest. And what sells it is a key academic factor called "lawn height."
That's why in preparation for the new students arriving on campus, we'll have lawnmowers going 24/7 from now til TRADITION. Every minute of every day someone somewhere on campus will be mowing a lawn. I decree it!

Eaton at the Movies!

Welcome to "Eaton at the Movies!" where I review, analyze, and comment on today's most popular movies. In this fall issue, I review everything from "The Aristocrats" to "The Transporter 2"


March of the Penguins
Best Comedy All Year! I’ve never laughed so hard. Have you ever seen penguins? They slip and slide and fall in the water. Oh mi gosh, it was hilarious. Double thumbs up!

The Cave
Below Earth lies Hell. Below Hell lies… The Cave. And below The Cave lies the place where they make you watch “The Cave.”

The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Pastor Abbot says that when they cast out the demon in the movie that the demon goes into whoever is in the theater.

40 year old virgin
Wow! What an accomplishment… and he didn’t even go to SPU!

Wedding Crashers
I totally invented that, except I didn’t crash weddings or funerals. I crashed Alumni reunions. The class of ‘63 was a bunch of hotties….. Rrrrrrrr.
Booyah!

Brothers Grimm
Creepy… reminded me of Moyer.

Sky High
Superheros in school? Nope. SPU is still better.

Four Brothers
I could take ‘em.

The Constant Gardener
We should hire him to seek out the truth behind the student’s CFE reports.

Proud to be An American

Entenmann's doughnuts are only $.99 at Walmart! It is totally worth the drive to get this deal. At Safeway they are like $1.09.
Walmart is flipping RAD!