SPU Voted #1 Party School*

I am so pleased to announce that SPU was voted number Party school on North Queen Anne. We beat out the local junior high school mainly because we don't require student to wear uniforms. This ranking boosts SPU to 57th regionally and 232nd in the State of Washington and we just crested the national 5000 mark coming in at 4986 displacing Memphis Community Technical College's kickin' lan party raves.

Of course, UC Chico is the number one party school of all time. More people have died during hazings at Chico than any other school so you know it's gotta be wicked good time.

Les Steele wanted me to make an announcment about it because it is "all the talk of the academic world." And I said "Les, baby, that's because you stuffy academics are just jealous of us fun lovin party guys." We at SPU know how to party the way Jesus would do. We know that making someone drink five gallons of water and locking them in a frozen basement overnight so they die of water intoxication and hypothermia is not all it is cracked up to be.

But the traditional SPU hazing of making guys dress like girls is tons of fun. Maybe even make them carry a purse. That'd be kickin. Because for one brief week in the school year SPU would truly be an all girl school. (Driscoll already officially decreed that 75% of SPU men "girly men.") A sentiment affirmed by many of the female students (and some professors) on campus.

As for me I, I've been inspired to do some hazing of my own. Look out Les, we're gonna find out how many Easter peeps you can fit in your mouth and still say "I wish I had Phil's job."

Phil