"Must Love Mallomars"
60ish, greying university president seeks new dean of student life to run daily affairs on campus and take me out to ice cream.
The ideal candidate would be someone who enjoys forcing students not to drink. Should probably be Christian.
Hippies who care more about recycling than the university making money need not apply.
posted by Dr Eaton @ 1:20 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
I am applying for the 'Dean of Student Life' position.
My qualifications:
1. I know every Baskin Robbins within a 10 mile radius.
2. I remember that hippies were never cool, no matter how much they liked to believe they were.
3. I was/am an alcoholic, I will force students not to drink by drinking for them.
4. I have been to church before (more than once) therefore I qualify as a Christian. Also, no matter how much of a sinner I am, I know Jesus will always love me... because he has to.
5. You da man.
Please call me to schedule an interview. Thanks.
Love,
Panda
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