Admissions... Argh, Admissions.....

So Les says we have to let people into SPU based on merit. The only merit I need is to see how many mallomars one could eat in a week. It's a long time, I know, I designed it to test your endurance.
But Nooooooooooooo, that test isn't could enough for Les. Now I have to read all these letters from applicants.
Here is a typical letter:

Dear President Eaton,
I've been thinking of going to SPU. I've been praying about it a lot.
Blah Blah Blah crap about divine calling blah blah blah
Can you tell me more about SPU?
Sincerely,
Some Poor Lame-O

I hate reading letters. Instead, if you want to apply to SPU, you should submit your photo to www.hotornot.com and let democracy take action. God bless the Greeks for inventing democracy and the internet. But God also condemn the Greeks for the falafel. Gooey chickpea, mayonaise infested turd in a pita bread. Yelch! How can Steele stand this stuff. Oh, that's right he's a nerd.

My work here is done, folks.
I RULE!

Peace Out
Phil