Seahawks Stadium Review

I know there's been some criticism about graduation. OK, mainly from me, but also from a few others.

It was totally boring. If I were running the place (and by next year I will be. Send that Les "Hosehead" Steele back to radioshak where he belongs), graduation would be kicking and I'd be pumping. Therefore I proudly present...

Phil Eaton's Comprehensive Plan for Commencement 2005:

1. Instead of renting Seahawks Staedium, rent the Seagals Cheerleading squad.
2. Instead of junior flag bearers ushering in each school, invite Gravedigger and other famous, culturally relevant, monster trucks to usher in each school.
3. Instead of boring speakers from across the street, invite exciting, perky celebrities to speak. Maybe someone like Jiminy Glick?
4. Instead of that pompous band playing pompous songs, I think a Tom Lehrer impersonator would be great.
5. Get rid of Don Yanik directing the ceremonies and hire Richard Simmons.