Abraham Lincoln is not Gay!

I don't care what anybody says, Abraham Lincoln was not gay.
I asked him, "Hey Abe, maybe we should get together for a beer or two after this whole civil war thing is over"
He said, "Phil, I don't swing that way."
At first I thought he didn't like me cause I be from the South, but then
He said, "Phil, I like you. You're a good guy. But I think we should just be friends."
Then he gave me a wink and tipped his top hat to me and grabbed marytodd around the waist and planted one on her long and hard.
He has a log named after him for a reason. Only Mary Todd knows why.