Eaton Universe

I can't believe Miss Canada won. I totally had money on Miss Puerto Rico. She's a fox. The Miss Universe judges seemed to have Missed the point of the contest. You're supposed to elect the hottest one. That's how I voted for president (Bush vs. Herman Munster, c'mon) and that's also how I got my job. (Me vs. Les Steele: it was a landslide!)
Miss Canada probably bribed them with maple syrup or smoked salmon Popsicles or some other Canada stupidness.

But I don't want to give the impression that hotness is all that validates a woman. The most important thing a woman can be is a good cook. The Mrs whips up the tastiest Brownies every Christmas. Or look at that Carl’s Jr. commercial with Paris Hilton. She's hot, but she can't make me that burger, so what good is she?